Perous Secret Diary - Keep Out

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sped to ma and pa's for early front and back lawn mow with lady Lucy

thought we'd get it done before the heat but left drenched in sweat

to woods to be cool in the trees

but were met with the aftermath of an uninvited guest smashing their way through our doors and stealing the power tools we had over-confidentially left behind

stupidly the trail cam that's been up many days checking for this kind of misadventure was not up or running

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feeling pretty dismal about this

have never been broken into before because i always ensure our deterrents are strong enough

since living in hackney wick, back when we were one of two people living there

hard to believe but the wick didnt have Michelin starred restaurants back then: it was an abandoned industrial estate with 'water gypsy' issues on the canal.

the day we moved in, there were unlicensed security guards with baseball bats sat outside warehouses round fire drums all night.

our fist day we were told, 'YOU WILL BE BROKEN INTO!'

our first night, we were putting up razor wire round our perimeter, in the pouring rain

cant do that at the woods: shouldn't need to do that at the woods, in the countryside.

the new locks on old doors held fast

the old doors did not

the woods are isolated and quiet and we dont have an effective gate: we are not living there

i was overconfident and had started leaving power tools and not leaving up the camera because it wasnt recording anyone or anything

lost about £1500 of power tools including my chainsaw (which I am so glad I hadn't sharpened last week as planned)

a sweet cast iron deer bell that we had on the front of the cottage

my LGTBQ rainbow colourful chainsaw trousers: good luck to anyone try to wear those discreetly

Lucy's raincoat and an old Henry hoover (WTF?)

expect to see all that at a car boot near woods today

happened sometime between Tuesday and today (Saturday).

dammit

scumbag/s

Perous Secret Diary - Keep Out: June 20, 2026