
this space is for the doctors use only

this is a waste paper skip

this is a man standing in a box
i HATE hospitals.
i particularly hate 'east surrey hospital' in redhill.
started frantic retouching at 7am.
took a 6hr tea break to visit my uncle (roger) in hospital.
started feeling anxious on arrival: the east surrey hospital is the last place/time i saw my grandad (john).
has bad memories.
roger's pretty knackered.
he was in intensive care and just about to be sedated before going on life support.
i said, 'hello soldier: it's your nephew...'
i don't know if he heard me: he couldn't respond anyway.
i hate that feeling of absolute helplessness: knowing there's nothing you can do to help.
i hate seeing people struggling for life too.
met my cousins julie, sheena and john there and my aunt angie, uncle dave and colleen.
stayed a while for a chat and left.
didn't realise what was going on really but had a major panic attack in the carpark.
it's been years since my last.
returned to the farm and finished part 1 of the 'underworld' retouching.
ftp'd things around the world.
i feel like puking: nervous energy...but not in a good way.
feels like a full moon but i'm sure it isn't.
:(