from dust you came and to dust you will return
andrea's funeral in west london was very heavy on the heart...
there was about 70 (well dressed) people there.
i felt particularly sad for robert, who sat through the service, next to his mum, with his head in his hands.
i didn't have any words for him after so i just gave him a hug and i walked off through the cemetery sobbing and trying to breathe.
it was a beautiful sunny day though.
that cemetery (off the harrow road) is quite beautiful.
full of ridiculous mausoleums: over blown gestures of the over-important...and now all forgotten and overgrown.
i was thinking i don't want a service when i die.
but actually i think i do: not for me, but for anyone who wants to say goodbye: it's quite a good conclusion.
i don't want a grave though.
didn't think i'd go to the wake.
but i did.
it was upstairs at the william IV
it was good to be there: a bit more light hearted.
i've got such a problem with death and dying.
i just can't deal with it at all.
can't we all live forever?
drove back past stratford (the place) and some very stressful shopping encounters (at currys and carphone warehouse).
returned to the farm to drive round on the ride on lawnmower and destroyed the grass collector while collecting grass.
tonight we were supposed to be 'activated' for broadband by BT.
according to BT we are.
but we are not.
2 hours talking to some (trying hard but failing) customer 'support' people in india left me wanting to punch things.
I HATE NOT BEING ONLINE.
i hate computer/automated answering services.
i am still picking up email (just) and getting online, outside someone's house in herne bay, once a day, unless i'm at a studio/office in town.
help...
...i've just been stopped by the police who wanted to know if poncing someone's wi-fi signal is legal, and if i was 'known' to them.
;)
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