Perous Secret Diary - Keep Out: February 07, 2010

i-ski

one of my sons' favourite phrases is 'i can't do it' and he spends his entire day complaining about EVERYthing.

which is exhausting: it makes me so sad and frustrated because if i can teach my children anything it would be that they can do ANYTHING all they have to do is try...then keep trying and NEVER give up.

(which is something my parents taught me: i often have my mother's determined words ringing in my ears: "GO ON: YOU CAN DO IT: KEEP TRYING".

i have thought that for some time the right way to deal with maximum is gently: nurturing and encouraging him.

but today, a new strategy had to be employed.
he had totally given up, immediately and without any effort or any attempt to try to learn to ski and he was making snow castles in the middle of a learner slope, whining 'i can't do it'.

mrs.perou had almost given up and was looking to get him adopted.

so i went up to maximum drill sergent style and explained firmly, 'listen to me: you are a 'perou' and that is an honour not a right: we do NOT give up: get up on your feet, now, and you will listen to emma and you WILL learn to ski...or you WILL be going back to england, on your own'

which weirdly did the trick.
several times during the day he fell over (of course) and everytime i heard him say, 'i can't do it' i said firmly back to him, 'i refuse to listen to you saying 'i can't do it' GET UP and do it again'.

it's strange but he responds to this better than anything.
so extra firm, fair parenting is the way forward for him now.

subsequently by the end of the day he had done two runs down a blue slope and two button lifts back up to the top.
and he's enjoying himself MUCH more.
(AND he's not saying 'i can't do it, anymore)

z is SUCH a different child who throws himself head-first into any obstacle put in front of him (american footballer without a helmet style)
he has an obvious lust for life and always has a grin on his face.

they're so different, it's like they've had two different parents and upbringing.
i see a lot of my worst attributes in maximum which i feel sorry for him about (he's the tortured artist) and i see a lot of mrs.perou in z (he's the bulldozer that gets things done) and i worry about him less.

maybe one day, both sons will read this and disagree or recognise themselves.
hopefully by the time they read this, things might have changed for the better...

(after all, this diary's for them: not you (so much) anyway.

respect to emma who's taken me and mrs.perou from absolute beginners to two people who can to throw themselves down a blue slope without binning it.(we skipped green and went straight onto blue).

i'm actually having a good time...which is unusual for me on holiday.hence this is our first family holiday in 3 years.

i did have a wrong fitting pair of boots whihc has killed me all day.
now i have the right boots all will be better.

but i AM super knackered.