Perous Secret Diary - Keep Out: February 02, 2007

nothing. nobody

i had this shirt made for me recently.
in the light of yesterday's dingdong and the accusations of over-importance, i thought it was appropriate to wear today.

(so when people go 'who's that (twat)?' if they can read, they can know.

you've GOT to have a raging ego to do what i do: to be able to say 'the way I see the world is more important than the way YOU see the world, and i'll charge you $$$ for my vision'.
if you can't believe in yourself, how can anyone else believe in you?

self confidence is one of the most important things i hope my children will have in life.

as a photographer, you are an autonomous entity: everyone is looking to you to make the decisions and make everything happen.
i could rant about this for some time but i'm bored of it.
despite having to be the focus of everyone's attention, it's not always comfortable and/or enjoyable.

before i got into photography, i was THE most shy person: i was so shy i didn't even like talking on the phone: i wouldn't talk to strangers full stop.
when i first started photographing people, i couldn't even talk to them.

photography has made me the man (monster) that i am.
this is not an excuse: it's a fact.

got up at 4am, wide awake and pissed off with it being so early.

retouched the james mc avoy pictures we shot on monday(?).
confused about the day.

i HATE retouching on a laptop: can't trust anything about what i'm seeing: colour, contrast, density etc...
but needs must and i'm traveling with a tablet etc. so that it can happen.
if we don't keep on top of the post while we're on the road, it'll build up into a nasty mess waiting to drown us on our return.

and the magazine was waiting eagerly for the pics in LA.

met t-bone buckroyd for lunch at the diner opposite the standard.
had a nice double cheeseburger.
drove there in my bright red (sore looking) hummer h3.
trent had never been in a hummer before.
(such a nice ride though...seriously considering bringing one (a black one) home IF it can be made environmentally friendly).

got 'on set' at 5pm.
didn't have time for an afternoon sleep...was too awake anyway.
as we arrived, started to feel tired and my eyes started stinging.

finished shooting at 4am (24hrs after getting up this morning) delerious, trying not to cry and aching ridiculously.
we knew this was going to be 'a long one'...but this was an endurance mission (almost) like no other...
i DID however, shoot some of the best pictures i've ever done.

made it back to the hotel and was alsleep before hitting the pillow.

have only managed 5 hours sleep and now i'm up again (this is technically feb 3rd? ur...) with a pounding headache.

in 6 more hours (after lunch) we're back on set for day 2 of our LA shoot/adventure/torture....

again, to all y'all who think this is a glamourous way of life...
hope you're enjoying your weekend.