Perous Secret Diary - Keep Out: November 10, 2005

death death until the sun cries morning

after i burnt it i wanted to see if the nasty could still take terrible photos...but i couldn't resist pounding it with a big hammer.

last night we had a little website re-launch at metropolis.
couldn't get a cab so mrs.perou put the kids in the back of her car and drove me, via frances' house to the strip club.
was so weird to be heading there and getting dropped off by my lovely (innocent not twisted and dark like me) family.
i felt like a kid getting dropped somewhere by his parents.
mrs.perou pointed out the neon lights of metroplois to maximum and said 'daddy's going dancing in there'.
maximum looked at me and said, 'i want to go dancing with you too daddy'.
i said i'd take him one day.

english table dancing clubs are very different to the 'gentlemen's clubs' i've been to in other countries.
(going to such venues is an old habit formed from being on the road with rock bands).
the girls there were much more attractive than we had anticipated.
we were expecting some east-end roughness but it was funny for different reasons.
i was particularly amused when told to remove my hat by a very unamused bouncer.
(aparently hat-wearers are unwelcome in such establishments).

during a shower dance, a girl in a dodgy bikini is employed to stand in a glorified shower tray and get undressed in a 'provocative' (aka hysterical) manner and gyrate around soaping herself all over with a sponge whilst an assembled audience spray her with household water sprays (the kind you have pump to keep the pressure going and the water coming out of).

during the particular 'shower dance' that seven of us (5 guys, frances and melinda) were enjoying, i was laughing so much i couldn't even look in the direction of the naked brazillian girl who was trying to ignore our frantic pumping and our spraying of the water sprays, and i inadvertently sprayed her in the face.
a bouncer stepped in and told me not to 'squirt her' in the face and i said, 'i'm sorry: it's never happened before' shortly after which i was laughing so much we had to leave.
this was all the more funny because i was on my 4th pint of strongbow.
word of warning, if you ever go there: at one point i asked one of our group to change a £20 into £5's for me and he came back with four £5's but each was a different colour, weight and print.

after the short but expensive, amusing time in metropolis we all took a bus down hackney road to 'lounge lovers' for some hideously expensive cocktails and even more ridiculously priced fish and chips.

caught a cab home, drunk as a skunk and sneaked back to our matrimonial bed at midnight.
it was a weird evening indeed.